Life has drastically changed for me in the last month. I find myself alone a lot of the time. I am not saying that is negative – I am alone but rare lonely. I have come to embrace this solitude as a way of life. I enjoy when I am with people – I like being of service to other people, especially in their walk with Jesus. Yet these times drain me. And I return to the hiddenness to recharge with Jesus. I enjoy people but I also needs the moments of solitude and silence.
There is something about solitude and silence that means I am hidden in Jesus – not visible to the world, not engaged in the world’s desires and passions. I have my own passion – faith. I have my own time – prayer. I am flexible in how my day moves but it always has the same elements – prayer, meditation, reading, physical needs.
I have stopped listening to music as much. I eat alone – sometimes listening to an audiobook, sometimes simply listening to the birds and the trees. I take a walk alone. Is it a vocation? I do not know.