Last night was the last Bible Study for this term. I have mixed feelings about it. The night before I had another meeting. Both ended up being more stressful than I had thought – my fault not the meetings. I have a full day of meetings some of which I have no desire for. So I did not sleep well and I have woken with a headache (a by-product of the medication I am on).
I woke thinking about the above song. I was especially thinking about the line, “life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone”. In my 50s I am forced to completely restart. I have literally come back to my teenage years sleeping in the same bed, working in the same room, living in the same house. And I am not sure I can do it again!!!
If it be your will That I speak no more And my voice be still As it was before I will speak no more I shall abide until I am spoken for If it be your will If it be your will That a voice be true From this broken hill I will sing to you From this broken hill All your praises they shall ring If it be your will To let me sing
“The thoughts you think are not a waste of time”. I have often been struck by that line.
I live in my head and often feel life has passed me by. But my thinking has benefited me and others. I am constantly amazed that I make any sense at all because in my head is a crowd of voices arguing and yelling. And, maybe following on from the previous post, that is my vocation – to think with Jesus?! Or, as Paul says, I think “so that the church may be built up”.
I have had somewhat of a hard start to the day but it has improved. A very encouraging message from one of the clergy of the parish has helped. I should not be amazed but I am still struck by how Jesus speaks to me through people at the most appropriate time. And I am always struck by how Jesus moves people and how people who have nothing in common except Jesus gather and support each other. So I am extremely thankful for that today!
I will face tomorrow with Jesus. Every day is a gift, but like Tony Soprano says, “does it have to be a pair of socks?”. I will keep going, I will use my gifts for the “upbuilding of the people of God”, and I will be open to Jesus in whatever way He choses to use me.
I like the version of the Surrender Prayer at the end:
Lord Jesus Christ take all freedom, my memory, my understanding, and my will. All that I have and cherish you have given me. I surrender it all to be guided by your will. Your Grace and your Love are wealth enough for me. Give me this Lord Jesus, and I ask for nothing more.