Come, Holy Spirit!

[Verse 1: Gabrielle Jones]
Come, Holy Spirit, come
With energy divine
And on this poor, benighted soul
With beams of mercy shine

[Verse 2: Gabrielle Jones with Wilder Adkins]
Melt, melt this frozen heart
This stubborn will subdue
Each evil passion overcome
And form me all anew

[Verse 3: Gabrielle Jones with Wilder Adkins]
Mine will the profit be
But Thine shall be the praise
And unto Thee will I devote
The remnant of my days
And unto Thee will I devote
The remnant of my days

time?!

I have been thinking about how I use my time. I need more downtime without social media. Information overload!

So today I looked at the Screen Time app. I think that could be the answer. So I am going to start setting limits. And be more aware of what information I allow.

Three Wives, One Husband

Lockdown means more TV watching. So I have been watching Three Wives, One Husband :

Filmmakers gain access to the community of Rockland Ranch in the middle of the Utah desert where 14 polygamous Mormon families have created unique homes for themselves carved out of a rock-face.

There is a common theme in some “cults” (I am not saying this is a cult): individuality gives way to the community. For the greater good (however, that is defined) individuals stop being individuals and become a cog in the machine. The individual’s task is to be a step for another to reach a “higher level of holiness”.

Anyway, I am enjoying the series!

catastrophizing

I wanted to share that one of the things I really struggle with is catastrophizing. I know it is a learned response for me and it gets worse with the cycle of my depression. But it is incredibly hard to fight (for me) and it can be very overpowering.

As an aside, I think I have drifted to theologies that agree with my catastophizing – “the end is near” type ideas. I have been attracted by the holy elect type of thinking. But, in reality, it only leads to ghetto-type thinking and “us and then” actions.

So today I am struggling with seeing the light in the midst of the darkness I have created. And I am sure that the light at the end of the tunnel is a train!

#lockdown worship

I think Covid-19 has taught me a lot. It has forced me to reflect on my habits and see which I should keep and throw away.

I think Covid-19 has also helped me with my Christianity. It has stripped my relationship with Jesus and has made me look at what is really important. It has helped with focusing on the core. So rather than saying, “Why, God?”, I am saying, “Thank you, Lord!”.

hello world

So … I have done something by myself that I never ever thought I could do!!! (And I am going to keep it to myself for a little while.) I did it for myself. I did it without help or support. I did it without getting someone else’s ok. I feel like it is the start of a new life!!!!

compassionate Jesus

The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. … When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret and moored the boat. When they got out of the boat, people at once recognized him, and rushed about that whole region and began to bring the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went, into villages or cities or farms, they laid the sick in the marketplaces, and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.

Mark 6:30-34, 53-56

I am always struck by how compassionate Jesus is in the gospels. Much more than me. It is something I aim to be but often fail. So, Lord, help me to be more like You!!!