Come, Holy Spirit!

[Verse 1: Gabrielle Jones]
Come, Holy Spirit, come
With energy divine
And on this poor, benighted soul
With beams of mercy shine

[Verse 2: Gabrielle Jones with Wilder Adkins]
Melt, melt this frozen heart
This stubborn will subdue
Each evil passion overcome
And form me all anew

[Verse 3: Gabrielle Jones with Wilder Adkins]
Mine will the profit be
But Thine shall be the praise
And unto Thee will I devote
The remnant of my days
And unto Thee will I devote
The remnant of my days

time?!

I have been thinking about how I use my time. I need more downtime without social media. Information overload!

So today I looked at the Screen Time app. I think that could be the answer. So I am going to start setting limits. And be more aware of what information I allow.

Three Wives, One Husband

Lockdown means more TV watching. So I have been watching Three Wives, One Husband :

Filmmakers gain access to the community of Rockland Ranch in the middle of the Utah desert where 14 polygamous Mormon families have created unique homes for themselves carved out of a rock-face.

There is a common theme in some “cults” (I am not saying this is a cult): individuality gives way to the community. For the greater good (however, that is defined) individuals stop being individuals and become a cog in the machine. The individual’s task is to be a step for another to reach a “higher level of holiness”.

Anyway, I am enjoying the series!

catastrophizing

I wanted to share that one of the things I really struggle with is catastrophizing. I know it is a learned response for me and it gets worse with the cycle of my depression. But it is incredibly hard to fight (for me) and it can be very overpowering.

As an aside, I think I have drifted to theologies that agree with my catastophizing – “the end is near” type ideas. I have been attracted by the holy elect type of thinking. But, in reality, it only leads to ghetto-type thinking and “us and then” actions.

So today I am struggling with seeing the light in the midst of the darkness I have created. And I am sure that the light at the end of the tunnel is a train!

John 6

After this Jesus went to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, also called the Sea of Tiberias. A large crowd kept following him, because they saw the signs that he was doing for the sick. Jesus went up the mountain and sat down there with his disciples. Now the Passover, the festival of the Jews, was near. When he looked up and saw a large crowd coming toward him, Jesus said to Philip, “Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?” He said this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do. Philip answered him, “Six months’ wages would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little.” One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said to him, “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish. But what are they among so many people?” Jesus said, “Make the people sit down.” Now there was a great deal of grass in the place; so they sat down, about five thousand in all. Then Jesus took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated; so also the fish, as much as they wanted. When they were satisfied, he told his disciples, “Gather up the fragments left over, so that nothing may be lost.” So they gathered them up, and from the fragments of the five barley loaves, left by those who had eaten, they filled twelve baskets. When the people saw the sign that he had done, they began to say, “This is indeed the prophet who is to come into the world.”

When Jesus realized that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, he withdrew again to the mountain by himself.

When evening came, his disciples went down to the sea, got into a boat, and started across the sea to Capernaum. It was now dark, and Jesus had not yet come to them. The sea became rough because a strong wind was blowing. When they had rowed about three or four miles they saw Jesus walking on the sea and coming near the boat, and they were terrified. But he said to them, “It is I; do not be afraid.” Then they wanted to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the land toward which they were going.

John 6:1-21

The next five weeks of the lectionary look at John 6. There is a sense of confusion and continuity in the texts. John gives meaning to the old in the life of Jesus. But those who are with Jesus just don’t get it.

#lockdown worship

I think Covid-19 has taught me a lot. It has forced me to reflect on my habits and see which I should keep and throw away.

I think Covid-19 has also helped me with my Christianity. It has stripped my relationship with Jesus and has made me look at what is really important. It has helped with focusing on the core. So rather than saying, “Why, God?”, I am saying, “Thank you, Lord!”.

no Christian

No, an illusion can never be destroyed directly, and only by indirect means can it be radically removed. If it is an illusion that all are Christians — and if there is anything to be done about it, it must be done indirectly, not by one who vociferously proclaims himself an extraordinary Christian, but by one who, better instructed, is ready to declare that he is not a Christian at all.

The Point Of View For My Work As An Author (1844)

SK continues to be an inspiration to me.

hello world

So … I have done something by myself that I never ever thought I could do!!! (And I am going to keep it to myself for a little while.) I did it for myself. I did it without help or support. I did it without getting someone else’s ok. I feel like it is the start of a new life!!!!